


Alcohol, Bail Money, and Bad Decisions

by flutegirl0422



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Bachelor Party, The boys get drunk, Vegas AU, also connor brings weed, because it's connor, it's a good time, they're probably all a little ooc but that's fine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-08-19 16:20:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16538018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flutegirl0422/pseuds/flutegirl0422
Summary: Jared is getting married. Evan is his best man. Connor's along for the ride. The three of them embark on a short, but enlightening, journey to Las Vegas to celebrate the last days of Jared's single life. It goes about as well as you'd expect.





	1. Chapter 1

Evan Hansen had never had a headache this bad in his entire life. He slumped over, resting his head on the cool metal wall of the plane and emphatically shut the window in an attempt to get some relief. A moment later a soft, warm something weighed down his arm. He glanced over to see Connor leaning against him, a baseball cap pulled over his face and a curtain of hair running over Evan’s shoulder. A soft groan came from behind them. Apparently Jared wasn’t doing so hot, either. Evan chuckled to himself, recalling how they got into such a sorry state. 

Twenty-four hours ago they landed at McCarran International Airport for Jared’s bachelor party. As best man, Evan thought it’d be fun to have a boys night out and where better than Las Vegas? He was never much of a party person, but sometimes people do things they don’t want to for the ones they care about. 

“Evan, I gotta hand it to you,” said Jared, patting him on the back. “When you plan something, you really do it right. This is gonna be the best bachelor party EVER. We’re in VEGAS, BABY!”

Connor looked at them and rolled his eyes. “I bet at least four other dudes said the exact same thing in that very spot today.” 

“Connor,” said Evan, “can you at least try to have a good time?” 

“Oh, I will.” He smirked. Evan closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair to distract from the sinking feeling in his gut.

Jared dragged his friends into a tight huddle. “Can you smell that?” He took a sharp inhale with his nose. “It’s the smell of an adventure waiting to happen. Oh, and I have gifts for you! Specifically made for bachelor adventuring.” 

He handed them each a baseball cap and put one on himself. It read in big bold letters “I’ll Bring The Alcohol”. 

Connor squinted at his. “Hey, why did I get ‘I’ll Bring The Bad Decisions’?” 

Jared whispered, “Because I thought ‘I’ll Bring The Weed’ was a little on the nose. And this one’s less likely get us arrested.” Connor smirked again and winked at him. 

Taking it from Jared, Evan looked down at his cap. “‘I’ll Bring The Bail Money’? Really?” 

“Relax! I promise I’ll pay you back if that actually happens.”

Muscle memory pulled Evan’s face into a look of disappointment and skepticism.

“Fine, Alana will pay you back.”

“I know she will. She actually factored it into your wedding budget when I told her where we were going.” 

“That’s my girl!” Jared beamed. Despite his impromptu nature, he really did love how Alana planned for everything. He loved everything about her, really. Which is why it was Evan’s job to make sure Jared got back in one piece so he could actually marry her. 

The moment they put their bags down in the room, Connor and Jared were fantasizing about three foot margaritas and Sin City shenanigans.

“Can we go to Thunder Down Under?” Connor mused while thumbing through a tourism guide, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

Jared shook his head. “Nope. Absolutely not. And none of that Cirque du Soleil shit, either. It’s fucking gay.”

“Exactly why we should go,” said Connor. He wriggled his eyebrows seductively at Jared, who simply glared back.

Evan rolled his eyes. “Resident bi guy stepping in here. Neither of those are in our budget, and even if they were, we’d pick Cirque because then there’s eye candy for all three of us.”

“See? This is why you’re the brains behind this operation,” Jared threw his arm around Evan’s shoulder, straining a bit from the height difference. “So Mr. Best Man, what’s the plan?”

“First up, we have a reservation for a fantastic steak dinner at the Mirage. After that, I figured we could work our way around the strip and see where the night takes us.”

“Wait, you’re actually gonna let the night just...happen?” Jared looked like he was almost impressed. “And you’re not worried about what might go down?”

“Oh, I’m definitely worried. But it’s only a few hours and I’ll be your Sober Sally for the night. What could possibly go wrong?”

Later that evening they went for dinner at the Mirage and the three of them revelled in an indulgent meal. They had fine wine and succulent steak,topped off with great service and a wonderful atmosphere. Evan thought it would have been nicer if Jared hadn’t insisted on wearing his hat to the restaurant, but it was his party and he could not be moved. After dinner, they got outside just in time to see the volcano display. They were enjoying the show when Connor, nestled between Jared and Evan, nudged each of them with his elbow. “Psst. Come closer.” 

Jared loudly shushed him. “Murphy, keep it down. I’m trying to see if they’re gonna throw a girl in as a sacrifice!” 

“Spoiler alert: they don’t.”

Jared stuck his tongue out at him.

“Very mature. Look, I just wanted to know if either of you wanted a little dessert.” Connor had taken his hat out of his pocket and put it on, pulling his bun through the back. In his hands, he had three brownies, tightly packed in plastic cling wrap. He locked eyes with Evan and winked. 

“Connor, what the hell!” Evan whispered. He suspected Connor had brought some along, but he couldn’t figure out how. Admittedly, this was a lot better than he imagined.

“Relax, I checked and it’s totally legal. Which is why I also have these.” He pulled several joints out of his pocket. 

“You didn’t have to...stash those anywhere, did you?” Jared looked very skeptical as he asked. Evan was glad he the only one thinking it. 

“Perks of chronic mental illness: you can easily get a medical marijuana card. No stashing required.” 

Evan put his head in his hands and sighed. “Well, I already had my one drink for the night,” he said. “You two can party as hard as you want. Just...don’t do anything stupid.” 

“Alright!” Connor opened a brownie and offered a piece to Jared. 

“I’m good,” said Jared. “In case you forgot, your last batch caused me to have a meltdown at my engagement party. I’d rather not relive that.”

“Suit yourself,” said Connor, munching on his contraband, preparing for the long night ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

The next stop after the show was the casino. They made their way to Treasure Island, and eventually parked themselves at a blackjack table at Jared’s request. Not long into their first round, a young woman came over to take drink orders. “Hello, dah-ling,” Jared said with a middling Sean Connery impression, “I’d like a piña colada with your finest paper umbrella. Shaken, not stirred, and keep ‘em coming.” In case it wasn’t embarrassing enough, he gave her a wink with finger guns. 

After Connor ordered a craft beer through a fit of laughter, Even declined a drink but handed her a hefty tip for her trouble. She’d need it if she was going to deal with these two. 

The drinks flowed and as the time ticked by, the table got a good rhythm going. Connor was making a piss poor attempt at strategy while Jared kept getting the hand signals confused, refusing to use his words. Evan had cashed out after the second hand. To pass the time, he made conversation with the waitress whenever she came around. They were well within their budgeted losses until suddenly Jared pulled out five $100 bills and fanned them out on the table. Evan and Connor watched the display with wide eyes. His cheeks were flushed with pink, a sign that Drunk Jared had finally arrived. 

“It’s all or nothin’, dealer!” Jared half-shouted. 

Evan grit his teeth. “Jared, what the fuck?” He tried to grab the money from Jared’s hands, but he quickly pulled away. 

Tauntingly, Jared waved the bills quickly in front of his face. “What’s a matter, Hansen? Can’t see me?”

Evan lunges across the table. The two of them were caught in an intricate dance. Where Jared bobbed, Evan weaved. One went to, the other fro. “Connor,” Evan pleaded, “a little help would be great right about now!” Instead, Connor took a sip from his beer and draped his arm over the back of his chair with a wry smile. He was certainly enjoying himself. 

Evan and Jared continued to play keepaway with the money, eventually caught in a tug-of-war, each one wrestling the bills away from the other.

“Hey!” The dealer slammed her hand down. “Stop fighting at my table this instant or I’ll get security involved.”

Jared, startled, let go of Evan and conceded the bills. “Fine. I’m cashing out.” He was still bitter but looked apologetically to the dealer. 

Connor leapt out of his chair, seemingly oblivious to the tension. “Cash me out too, Steph. Thanks for a marvelous time.” He winked at her as she consolidated his chips and she blushed, quickly forgetting his friends and their ridiculous display. 

Evan reluctantly handed her one of the $100 bills as a tip and followed Jared and Connor to the cashier. They cashed out silently, but Jared was still fuming. He tore off ahead of the other two as soon as he retrieved his cash. 

“You guys are lucky that dame was making goo goo eyes at me the whole time,” chided Connor as they made their way outside. “That could have ended a lot worse.”

“DAMN IT, EVAN!” Jared whipped around, pointing at a large mural featuring Hawkeye and Captain America. “The fucking Avengers are here and you didn’t fucking take me? It’s my fucking bachelor party and I couldn’t live it up with Tony Stark?!” He stomped around like a petulant child. 

“Relax, man.” Connor went behind him and enveloped him in a hug, wrapping his long arms around Jared’s waist. “The Avengers probably aren’t up there anyway.”

“Jared, please.” said Evan, acutely aware of the attention they were getting from passers by. “We barely avoided getting kicked out of here a minute ago, let’s not--”

“And whose fault was that, huh? You’re the one that tried to rip the money out of my hands!” He shrugged Connor off. Connor tried not to look hurt. 

Evan came closer and said, hushed, “You need that money, Jared. I know you know that. And I know you didn’t have that much cash on you when we arrived.” He remembered Jared’s unusually long bathroom break, kicking himself for not listening to his gut.

“Yeah, so what?” Jared was calmer, but still angry. “What’s it to you?”

Evan hung his head. “I just want to make sure you’re not doing anything stupid. Anything you’re going to regret later.” 

“Oh, really? You wouldn’t want me doing anything stupid?” Jared looked around until he locked on something to his right. His determination took over him and there was a fire in his eyes. “You’re the one who’s gonna regret this!” He ran back towards the hotel and hopped over the fence for an outdoor bar patio. Connor and Evan followed quickly behind him, stopping when they saw Jared start to climb the other fence and reach out towards a large pirate ship.

“Jared, no!” Evan stepped forward, but he was stopped by Connor, who seemed to have sobered up immediately. 

Connor was calm as he slowly walked towards Jared. “Hey, buddy. What are we doing here?” 

“What does it look like, Murphy? I’m trying to get on a fucking pirate ship!” 

A small crowd had amassed behind him and Connor waded through them. “Are you sure that’s what you’re doing?”

“I…” Jared paused for a second, then nodded his head vigorously. “Yes. I’m sure!” He reached out, leaning onto the balls of his feat. “Well, Murphy? You gonna help me or what?” 

“Hey! What the hell is going on here?” A booming voice came from behind the crowd, startling Jared. He slipped and fell backwards, toppling into Connor. They crashed together into a heap on the ground. As they got up, they saw a large, uniformed man looming over them. They scrambled and ran as fast as they could, grabbing Evan on their way out. 

The three of them ran out to the strip, hand in hand, pushing through the late night crowd in hopes of losing the security officer. “Follow my lead!” Connor yelled. He hurriedly led them into a nearby Starbucks. He pushed them into a table in the corner away from the windows and watched as the security guard ran past. 

Connor sat down and sighed. He ran a hand through his hair and looked up at his friends. Their faces could not be more different. Jared was shocked, but clearly exhilarated. Whatever had been plaguing him a moment ago was now a distant memory. Evan, on the other hand, was spiraling. His eyes were glazed over and his breathing was staggered, not just from the running. 

“Hey, Hansen.” Connor waved a hand in front of his face. 

Evan took a shallow, shaky breath. “I…I can’t…” 

“Yes, you can. You’re going to be okay. You’re safe.” Connor grabbed his hands and looked deep in his eyes. They were still distant but he could see Evan fighting to get control back. 

Jared looked sheepishly at the table as he ran his hand up and down Evan’s arm, trying to calm him down. He felt a twinge of guilt in his chest seeing Evan so worked up. 

As they slowed Evan’s breathing, Connor pulled out a brownie from his pocket and started tearing it in half. Evan shook his head. “I-I’m sorry, Connor. I fucked up enough tonight. I can’t eat that, I’ll only make it worse.”

Connor leaned in close. “I didn’t make them that strong, I promise. They’re the kind you like.” He gently placed the brownie on the table. 

“Young man, I’m pretty sure you can’t have outside food here,” said a woman glaring disapprovingly from the table next to them. 

Evan hung his head. “Sorry, ma’am.”

“No, actually, we’re not sorry,” Connor spat. “He’s hypoglycemic and I’m broke, so I’m gonna do whatever the hell I need to, lady. Oh, and mind your own fucking business. You don’t even work here.” The woman gasped and stormed off as Connor chuckled. He put his hand on Evan’s. “Please stop apologizing, you’re totally fine. Just eat this.” Evan nodded and took the brownie.

“Hey, what did you mean by ‘the one he likes’?” asked Jared. “Do you two go off and get high together when I’m not around?” 

“It’s been known to happen,” Connor said. 

Jared furrowed his brow. 

“He started asking all these questions about the different strains I’ve used on a horticultural level. You know how he is with plants. He came over a few times to learn some more about it. Then one day I may have neglected to mention the cookies I made were...special. It was a fun afternoon.” Connor leaned back with a smile. 

“And you guys never told me?” Jared crossed his arms and huffed.

Connor balled his hand into a tight fist. “I wasn’t aware that we had to?” 

“We should invite him next time,” said Evan quietly. He was looking better, but clearly still shaken up. He had a bit of chocolate on his lip and Connor reached over to wipe it off his face. As he did so, he gave Jared a pointed look and made a small motion to for him to cut it out.

Jared raised his eyebrows in understanding. “No, Evan, that’s alright. You two have your fun. Just make sure you’re careful.” He gave an exaggerated wink to Connor, who scoffed and ate the other half of the brownie. As Evan calmed down, a barista approached them with a drink carrier. He presented them with three Frappuccinos, piled high with whipped cream. 

“Hey guys! I’m Max. I heard your friend isn’t doing so hot.” 

Jared licked his lips, eyes zoned in on the drink carrier. Evan stared at the table. “I’m doing a lot better,” he said, “but thanks.” 

“Look,” said Max, “I’m not really supposed to do this but I overheard what happened and, well, the gang and I got these for you with our discount.” 

Evan curled into himself as Max put the drinks on the table. 

Max leaned in and lowered his voice. “Between us, that lady is always super rude, so I’m glad someone finally told her off.” He smiled at the three of them. “I’m on break right now but if you guys need anything, I’ll be back in a few.” 

“Wait,” Connor called out to Max as he turned around. “Do you know where we could kind of disappear for a while? All the hustle and bustle’s really starting to get to Evan.”

He motioned towards the door. “I’d go across the street. The Venetian’s pretty chill. Still a lot of people but a much calmer atmosphere.” 

Connor nodded, grabbing the brim of his hat. “Thanks for the tip.” As Max ducked back behind the counter, the three of them sipped on their drinks. “Ok,” Connor continued. “We need a game plan if we’re gonna get out of here.” 

“I got this,” said Evan. He looked more confident than he sounded. “You guys just have a good time, I’ll figure this out.” 

“Not a chance. He’s still drunk and you’re about 20 minutes away from reefer madness. I’ll take the lead on this one” 

Evan frowned. “But you had more than I did!” 

“Yeah,” said Jared, “but he’s, like, always high.” He took an exaggerated sip from his drink.

Connor nodded. “Like it or not, Ev, I am the captain now.” 

Jared chuckled. Evan crossed his arms and pouted. If he wasn’t trying to get control of their situation, Connor might have thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. 

“First thing’s first,” he said, “we need to make sure that security guard doesn’t pick up on us if they’re still looking. We’re already tempting fate by staying this close this long. We need to disguise ourselves.”

“And how exactly are we gonna do that?” Jared said from inside his cup. Evan grimaced, watching as he licked caramel sauce from the rim, whipped cream adorning the tip of his nose.

Connor reached over and stole Jared’s hat. “This is how.” 

“Hey, give that back!” 

“Take mine,” he said, sliding it across the table. “Evan, put yours on.”

Evan removed the hat from his belt loop and adjusted the bill to his liking. He put it on. pulling it low over his eyes. “Is that good?” 

“Good, but not good enough. Here, take this.” Connor unzipped his hoodie to reveal a black tank with a cowl neck and large slits down the sides. Peeking through the slits was a striped mesh tank top that clung to his chest. With one hand, he pulled the elastic from his hair and shook it loose. Evan’s eyes went wide and his cheeks went red. 

Jared wolf-whistled. “Daaaamn, Murphy.” 

“What?”

Evan looked anywhere but Connor’s eyes. “You, um—”

“You look hot.” Jared cleaned his glasses on his shirt while he carefully inspected Connor’s pale frame. 

Connor shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Didn’t know Drunk Jared was gay.”

“Not gay, just honest.” 

Evan gave him a side eye.

“What? I’m straight, not blind.”

“Whatever,” said Connor, “just grab your stuff.” He pointed towards the door. “Autobots, roll out.”


	3. Chapter 3

Back on the strip, the three of them were immediately assaulted by the sights and sounds of the city. Cars were bumper to bumper up and down the strip. Blinding lights were visible everywhere they turned. Seeing their dazed looks, Connor put his hands around Jared and Evan’s shoulders to corral them across the street.

“Keep your heads down for me. We just have to make it up the escalator and across that bridge without being seen, okay?” 

The two of them nodded. As they made their way to the top of the escalator, Jared ran to the far side of the bridge. “Holy shit, more boats?”

“What is up with you and boats tonight?” said Evan. “Are boats your trees? Like trees are my trees?”

Connor smiled at High Evan’s debut and dragged his friends across the bridge that led into the resort. Once inside, Jared ogled at ta baker in a shop window preparing a variety of sugary goodies. “This is supposed to be a party right?” he half shouted. “We should get some cake!”

“One impulse at a time,” said Connor. 

Jared was offended. “You’re talking to me about controlling impulses?”

“Exactly my point. Besides, you had like 4 pina coladas, freaked out on us, and then proceeded to inhale a frappuccino. Between the sugar, the alcohol, and the adrenaline, I’m surprised you’re even functioning right now. Not to mention the caffeine--”

“Actually, frappuccinos don’t have a lot of caffeine,” said Evan aimlessly. “Zoe told me how they’re made once. That’s why they’re my favorite.” A soft smile spread across his face. “That and they’re fluffy. Like clouds.” 

Connor grimaced. “That’s not what she told me,” he muttered. Zoe would pay for that when they got home. 

As they continued on, they reached the end of a long corridor. On the other side of the threshold, the ceiling opened up into a vast expanse of blue sky. Clouds were suspended in time, enveloping them in the soft glow of a perfect day that seemed to go on for forever. Connor could almost ignore the designer stores in the periphery as the three of them took in the breathtaking view. 

“There are boats in here too?!” Jared screamed. The gondolier jumped and his passengers flared up at the interruption. 

“I swear to God, Kleinman, if you jump over that ledge I am not gonna catch you this time.”

“Love ya like my luggage,” drawled Evan, “but I’m with him.” He felt his friends’ stares bore into his brain as they processed his words. “What? You’ve never heard that before?”

Jared and Connor shook their heads.

“That’s not a thing is it? Hmm. I thought it was. My cousin says it all the time.” Evan subconsciously enjoyed the ability to brush off what would have been be a mortifying incident if he werecompletely sober.

“Well, I don’t know where your cousin picked it up but it’s not a thing on this planet,” said Jared, still staring as Connor put an arm around Evan. 

“It’s a thing now, bud.” Connor pat him reassuringly on the back. He guided Evan with him down the hall and motioned for Jared to follow. 

It was immediately obvious to Connor that his friends were out of their depth in a place like this. His parents had taken him and Zoe to a few luxury resorts as kids, toting them around while they wined and dined. The two of them would often sneak away, awed by the jewelry and the lights. More than a few times they had played hide and seek in Barneys or keepaway with a Betsey Johnson accessory that cost more than could ever be considered reasonable. The designer names were oddly comforting to him. It made Jared’s discomfort all the more obvious. 

At first, Jared internally sneered at the extravagance of it all. While the interior itself was truly breathtaking, the commercialism left a bad taste in his mouth. Still, he had enough of a buzz going to quiet those thoughts and enjoy it for what it was. Every so often, though, he saw the sparkle of diamonds out of the corner of his eye. Pictures of happy couples propped atop glass cases. Words like true love, soulmate, forever, screamed out at him from floor to ceiling posters. The seemingly endless sky above them immediately felt like it would come crashing down. After a while he stopped at one of the shop windows and caught sight of a ring in the display that looked awfully familiar. 

“Jared,” said Evan, “what’s going on?” 

“Um, nothing.” Jared swallowed hard. 

The tension in his upper back and the ragged breathing was unmistakable. Evan had seen it time and time again. Hell, he’d come down from it only a few hours ago. He reached out and placed his hand on Jared’s shoulder. “Jare--” 

As Evan touched him, Jared started to run. Without thinking, Evan chased after him. 

“Is this dude trying to use this trip to get his tux fitting better?” Connor joked as he jogged past Evan. The two of them pushed through the crowd, slowly gaining on him. 

Eventually, Jared stopped to catch his breath, practically throwing himself into a railing. He looked out and saw a steep drop. The ledge in front of him was covered in coins, and there was water running over the edge. Taking a deep breath, he leaned against the railing and collapsed on the ground beside it. Shortly after, the other two were at his side. 

“You know,” Connor said, “you’re surprisingly fast for someone whose idea of a workout is Wii Bowling.” He panted, looking out into the atrium below. 

Evan sat beside Jared. “This is your second time running off tonight. What’s going on?” 

Jared brought his knees to his chest and hung his head. “You wouldn’t understand.” 

“Try me.” Evan wrapped his arm around Jared’s shoulder as Connor sat beside them. 

“You’ll hate me.” 

“Can’t hate you much more than I do right now,” Connor muttered. Evan shot him a look that could kill. 

“Jared, we won’t hate you. I promise.”

“Yeah, you will. You will because she will.” Jared sniffed and wiped his eyes. 

“Who will?” 

“Alana.” 

“Alana? Hate you?” Connor perked up. “She could literally never hate you. Unless...you didn’t kill a man, did you?”

Evan blinked hard. “Excuse me, what—”

“—The fuck?!” Jared was bright red. 

“No, it’d be worse than that,” Connor continued, ignoring them. “Oh my God, you cheated on her, didn’t you?”

“Fucking hell, Connor, I am not cheating on my fucking fiancée!”

“Then why the hell would she be hate you?” Evan yelled, startling them both. 

Jared’s face screwed up and he let out a frustrated sigh. “Evan, how can I expect her not to hate me when I do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for making it this far! I am working on chapter 4 and hope to have it out ASAP. Also, please check out my tumblr (also flutegirl0422) for some fantastic art by tumblr user madhattey!! I commissioned it way back when this fic was just a little idea and I'm excited for us to get to the scene they drew. Until then, please let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

It was odd watching the people rush by them going about their business, living their seemingly perfect lives. Evan wondered if any of them felt a blast from the bomb that Jared had just dropped. If they did, they didn’t let on. 

“Jared, what do you mean you hate yourself?” He couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes off the crowd.

“I mean that I hate myself, Ev. It’s kinda what it says on the tin.” 

“I know, it’s just—“

“What, I’m not allowed?” he snapped. “Self-loathing is reserved for you two, is that it?” 

“Jared, I didn’t mean it like—“

“Cool it, Kleinman.” Connor was stern, sounding eerily like his father. “We just wanna know what’s going on.” He paused. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone so relentlessly confident in my life, and now you drop this? It’s not like you.”

Jared scoffed. “Ever heard of ‘fake it ‘til you make it’?”

Evan put a hand on his shoulder, surprised when Jared didn’t pull away. 

“So,” said Connor, “how long have you been faking it, then?”

“Honestly?”

“Yes.”

Jared sighed, his scowl softening to a frown. “I think it’s always been there. I got pretty good at pretending it wasn’t, but it’s been getting harder to do that lately.” 

“Does Alana know?” Evan asked. He lightly tugged the hem of his shirt. 

Jared shook his head. “God, I hope not.” He took off his glasses and wiped away his tears. “It’s not even that I hate myself. Not really. It’s more like every negative thought or feeling I’ve had about myself came together and formed this little fucking cloud in my mind, and every time I try to do something that cloud shows up. I can usually make it out alright. But lately it’s been different. I mean this is ‘til death do us part. I always thought that was metal as fuck, by the way. But the closer I get to the wedding the more I realize what that means. I mean, I’m so selfish, and impulsive, and mean. You two would know that better than anyone. If I really love her, I can’t let her marry that guy, and no matter how you look at it, I am that guy.”

Connor pensively picked at the grout on the floor. After a moment he asked, “Do you remember when you took Alana to the winter formal senior year?”

“It was our first date. How could I forget?”

“I almost beat the shit out of you when you asked her, you know. I thought you didn’t deserve her, either. She was—is—one of the best people I’ve ever met, and well, I’m sure you remember how close we were.” 

Jared nodded.

“But then I saw you two at the dance. She wore these heels that she’d been dying to get. I’d never anyone get that excited about a piece of clothing in my whole life. After an hour in them she could barely get around, but she was determined to keep wearing them. I thought for sure she’d hurt herself trying to last the whole night. At one point I went to get some punch. You probably thought no one was looking, but I saw you two out of the corner of my eye at one of the tables. You were giving her a foot massage, right there in the gym.”

“Don’t forget he carried her all the way to Denny’s after, too,” Evan chimed in. Jared’s ears turned red and he made a sound halfway between a sob and a chuckle. 

Connor took Jared’s face in his hands and stared him straight in the eyes. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to that woman, Jared Kleinman. And I know what you’re feeling. Better than probably anyone. But I will not let you break her heart, or your own, because your brain decided to lie to you, you got that?” 

Jared nodded, wiping away tears. 

“Good.” The two hugged for a moment. Suddenly, as his friends pulled from their embrace, Evan caught a mischievous glint in Connor’s eye. Before he could be stopped, Connor gave Jared a quick peck on the lips. 

With an inhuman cry, Jared flew onto his back, flailing like a turtle on the wrong side of his shell. “Seriously? What the fuck!”

“It’s one of your last nights as a single man, Kleinman. I had to take my shot before it was too late!” 

Jared wiped his lips and tongue in his shirt. “Evan, what the hell are you laughing at? Get some hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine!”

Despite Jared’s pleas, Evan was lost to the world and collapsed into him, still very stoned. “You-your face!” he said between wheezing laughter. 

“I know what you were trying to do, asshole.” Jared sat up, pointing an accusatory finger at Connor, who was now standing over them. “I appreciate the gesture, but couldn’t you just have slapped me like a normal person?”

Connor crossed his arms. “I stand by my choice. But I promise to get your permission next time.”

“What makes you think there’s gonna be a next time?”

“I don’t think, Kleinman. I know. They always come back for more.” Connor glanced at Evan and winked. Evan felt his whole body flush with warmth.

Jared furrowed his brow. “Ok, what weird gay porno did we just end up in?” 

Evan giggled and put his arms up in victory. “Whoo! He’s back!” 

Jared gave him a wistful smile and ruffled Evan’s hair in gratitude. He knew how much his friends had struggled with their own mental health and it warmed his heart to know they were there for him when he needed it. 

“You know you gotta talk to her about it right?” said Connor.

Jared hopped up, wiping the dust from his clothes. “Yeah, I know I do. And I will. But that’s tomorrow Jared’s problem. We came out here to celebrate, didn’t we?” 

“Fuck yeah, we did.” Connor said, giving him a high five. 

Evan wrapped his arms around the two of them. “Guys, I have a crazy idea for what we could do next.” 

Connor and Jared exchanged skeptical looks. “What is it, bud?” Jared asked. 

“I...well, I kind of want it to be a surprise? But I think it’ll make you feel even better!” 

Not wanting to spoil a rare moment of spontaneity from Evan, the two agreed and made their way to the entrance of the Venetian. 

“So part one of the surprise is something I planned a while back,” said Evan as they made their way to the valet. “I said earlier that I wanted the night to just happen, which is true, but I wanted to be prepared for anything, so I had this booked for the evening.” 

Around the corner came a long, white Cadillac Escalade. The rims and the chassis glowed pale blue and they could feel booming bass in their feet as it pulled up. When it stopped, a petite woman in a white suit came out to greet them, her tight curls bouncing as she walked. Both Connor and Jared went pale at the sight of her. “Hey, boys! Long time no see.”

Jared took off his glasses and squinted. “That’s not—” 

“—it can’t be.” Connor shook his head in disbelief. 

They looked at each other and asked, in unison,”Is that...Sabrina Patel?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all your support! It's been great getting feedback, and it's definitely inspired me with where I can go next. FYI, with the holidays coming up I might be a little slower getting these out since I tend to unplug when I have time off, but I am excited to continue. Thanks again for reading :)


	5. Chapter 5

“Man, if you had told me five years ago that Sabrina Patel would be driving me around Vegas in a pimped out Escalade at my bachelor party, I would have called you insane.” Jared stretched his arms across the luxurious leather seat, basking in the decadence of the limousine as they slowly made their way down the strip. 

“Student loans don’t pay themselves, you know,” Sabrina hollered over the eclectic whirs and thumping bass coming from the speakers. 

He raised an imaginary glass. “Hear, hear.” He and Evan toasted while they both glared at Connor. 

“Hey!” said Connor, “It’s not my fault you can defer your loans if you keep getting degrees.” 

“I thought your folks were loaded,” said Sabrina. “Didn’t you have something saved up?” 

“Turns out the only thing more expensive in this country than a college education is a stint or two in rehab. Used up my college fund before I even graduated high school.” 

Sabrina caught his eyes for a moment in the rearview, then looked back at the road ahead. “I didn’t mean—”

“—It’s fine.” said Connor. “Sometimes I forget who knows and who doesn’t.” He looked to Evan for reassurance, but Evan was avoiding any eye contact that came his way. 

Jared loudly cleared his throat. “Hate to interrupt this lively conversation, but does anyone know where we’re even going?” 

“Sabrina does,” said Evan. “I mean, she is the one driving.” 

“And you booked her, which means you know, too." He squinted. "So where are we headed?” 

Sabrina laughed. “Nice try, but you don’t make it in this town if you can’t keep a secret. I’ve got strict orders from the boss and I’m not saying a word unless Evan gives me the all clear.” 

Evan puffed out his chest with authority. “That’s right,” he said, his voice cracking. He prayed no one heard, but Jared and Connor’s giggles rendered those prayers useless. “So, Sabrina,” he continued, “what brought you all the way out here? It’s not exactly close to home.”

“I took some time off after high school and came to work for my aunt. I just fell in love with the city, I guess. Even when you look past all the bright lights and the partying, Las Vegas is a pretty fascinating place. I decided to stick around, went back to school, and now I still drive for my aunt while I get something a little more stable.”

“Have you driven for anyone famous?” asked Connor.

“Maybe I have. Maybe I haven’t.”

“What, you can’t tell us?” He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not like I sign an NDA or anything, but I do have a professional reputation to maintain,” she said. “Like I said before, secrets make friends around here.” 

“Aw, c’mon,” said Jared. “Not even a hint?” 

Sabrina smiled to herself. “Tell you what. If you can correctly guess which Kardashian has sat where you’re sitting, I will confirm it for you. But that’s it.”

“Shit, a Kardashian sat here?!” Jared lit up with glee. “Honestly, it could be Rob and I’d still be okay with it.” He paused a moment. “It wasn’t actually Rob, right? Because he’s kind of the worst one.”

“You know that it was Scott,” said Connor, scoffing. “It’s simple probability. The dude is always out here. Hell, I’m pretty sure I saw him walking around when we were headed to dinner.” 

“Who are Scott and Rob?” asked Evan. “I thought all the Kardashians were girls with K names. And since when are you two keeping up with them?” He collapsed back into his seat, throwing his hands up. “Honestly, it’s like i don’t even know you guys.”

“Good thing they do,” said Sabrina. “One of them is actually right.”

“Which one is it?” said Jared. “I need to know!” Evan was sure Jared would be begging on his knees begging if they weren’t in a limo. 

“Something tells me you won’t like my answer.” 

“HA!” Connor threw a fist up in victory. “We really should have put some money on that.” 

“That’s not fair, Scott barely even counts anymore.” Jared pouted and turned to look out the window. “Whoa, what the hell is that?” He was staring down a tunnel of bright lights. The iconic Golden Nugget sparkled above them as they drove past, and soon they were pulling into the driveway. 

“Gentlemen,” said Sabrina, “welcome to Fremont Street!” 

Connor and Jared looked at each other, both wearing the same expression. 

“Evan, this is our rendezvous point, so whenever you’re ready to head back to the strip just holler and I’ll meet you here.” 

He nodded and the three of them climbed out of the car. Evan took in the sights for a moment and was taken aback by his friends staring expectantly at him. “What?”

“You said the car was part one of the surprise,” said Jared. “What’s next?” 

“This is it!”

“This is it? More casinos and bright lights?” 

Evan looked to Connor for assurance, but did not receive it. “I think he was kind of hoping for something a little….more. But that’s ok!” Connor pat them both on the back. “It’s us. We’re gonna keep having a great time.” 

“I-it is more! I promise.” Evan tugged on the hem of his shirt again, hoping he wasn’t stretching it out too much. “There’s a cosplay bar down the way with this super cute bartender and we could go to the arcade and drink and—’ 

“FUUUUUUUUUCK YEAHHHHHH!” Jared turned away from them , looking up at four people as they flew across a giant LCD screen like shooting stars. “That. Let’s do that.” 

“Oh,” Evan feigned surprised. “y-you want to do that?” His palms were sweating. His stomach dropped. He knew it couldn’t be avoided but he hoped he’d have more time to explain why he didn’t immediately take them to the skies.

“You’re not scared, are you?” Jared laughed. He saw Evan wipe his hands several times down the side of his pants. “Wait. Are you?”

Evan swallowed hard. “So, uh, do you remember when I fell out of that tree accidentally on purpose back in high school?” 

“Famously.”

Connor nodded in agreement.

“Well, I may have developed a slight fear of falling after that.” 

“Evan,” Connor deadpanned, “you climb trees for a living.” 

“Barely! I haven’t done field research since college, and even then it wasn't that much.” 

“Don’t you live on the fifth floor of your building?” said Jared.

“I-I’m not afraid of falling out my window.” Evan pulled down the brim of his cap. “It’s caged.”

“Jesus Christ, man! That’s it. You’re coming with me.” Jared grabbed his hand and dragged him though the street, following the zipline to its end inside a gigantic slot machine that stood several stories tall. 

“It’s late, I’m sure they’ve run out of tickets,” said Evan, pleading as they pushed through the crowd. 

“It’s a Tuesday,” said Connor.

“You’re paying your therapist too much money to be holding on to shit like this, Ev.” Jared put his hands on Evan’s shoulders, looking straight into his eyes. “You help me, I help you.” Patting his cheek with affection, Jared tore off towards the ticket counter.

“Is this really helping?” Evan called after him.

“Don’t act like you don’t know exposure therapy works,” said Connor, chuckling. He hated to see Evan panicking like this, but damn it if it wasn’t cute. “Jared’s right, by the way. You need a new therapist.”

“She’s your therapist, too!” 

“That’s how I know.” Connor quickly made his way to Jared with long strides, peering back at Evan every so often to make sure he wasn’t lost in the crowd. 

“Seriously, guys.” Evan panted as he jogged up to them. “Can’t we face my fears another day?” 

“You said you’d see where the night takes us.” Jared fanned out three tickets. “I’m holding you to it. Let’s see where it takes us together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and thank you for wading through my passing knowledge of the Kardashians to get to the end xD I know it's been a while since I last updated - sorry about that, fam. I am working on the next chapter already so hopefully it'll be out sooner than this one. Life's been a little crazy lately but I promise I'm still here! Please let me know what you think, and I'll see you in the next one :)


	6. Chapter 6

“Holy shit.” 

Evan gulped as he watched the door open like an animal’s maw, the bright lights on the other side enticing its victims to their untimely demise. They’d finally made their way to the top of the Zoomline after several increasingly thorough security checks. Though they were meant to instill a sense of confidence, Evan felt anything but. He reached behind him, searching for something to keep him steady. Long, slim fingers intertwined with his and gave his hand a light squeeze. 

“You got this,” Connor assured him. Evan turned to thank him when, suddenly, their faces were inches apart. He smiled, his nerves now rattled for a completely different reason. 

“NEXT!” An attendant called. Evan dropped Connor’s hand and turned towards her, hoping she couldn’t see how red his face was under his cap. “How many in your party?” 

“Three,” said Connor. “And it’s this one’s bachelor party.” He wrapped his arm around Jared and pat him on the back. “Give him the ride of his life.” 

“We’ll do our best,” she said with a smile. “Do y’all want to put your hats in one of your bags so they don’t fly away?” 

“Put ‘em in mine,” said Jared. 

“Sounds good.” They each gave Jared their hat as the attendant guided them to their stations. 

Evan could hear his heart beating in his ears. He took deep breaths as he lay face down on the platform. Turning to his left, he saw Connor smiling at him. Another deep breath. The platform beneath him hummed as it rose several feet in the air. 

“Hey, man!” A tall, muscular man pat him on the shoulder, then started hooking up his harness to the zip line. “You feeling alright?” 

Evan couldn’t tell if the guy was joking or not, so he let out a small chuckle in hopes that would be enough interaction to get him to stop. 

“Name’s Tony,” he said. Apparently Evan’s ability to give clear social cues was worse than he thought. “What’s yours?” 

“I’m, um...” he swallowed hard. 

Tony laughed. “Forget your name?” 

“No, it’s, uh, it’s Evan.” 

“Nice to meet you, Evan. We’re gonna move you now, alright?” 

Evan nodded at Tony as he felt the platform start to drop. As the harness began to do all of the heavy lifting, he examined it more closely. It felt a lot like the straps of his field pack. It felt _too much_ like the straps of his field pack. It was in this moment Evan was sure he would die. 

Tony got close and whispered in his ear. “Take a deep breath, it’ll be totally fine.” 

The two shared a smile and Tony walked away to help another person. It was then that Evan caught Connor glaring at Tony as he passed. Evan smiled a little bit more.

Attendants made the rounds, tugging on each person’s harness one last time before prepping for take off. Jared was screaming the lyrics of “Hollaback Girl” along with Gwen Stefani. This inadvertently started a sing along in the waiting area and for the first time in about an hour, Evan wasn’t afraid. It was brief, but welcome. 

Eventually Evan was forced to look back out the door and the fear set in again, accompanied by a familiar feeling. He could never put a word to it but he would never forget it. It was just shy of complacence and a hair past relief. It was the feeling of deciding to ask someone out on a date or getting up to deliver a speech. It was the inevitability of diving headfirst into the unknown. It was the feeling he had right before he let go.

Suddenly the wind whipped his face and ground was getting closer. He was no longer in the tower but soaring over the streets of Las Vegas. A spike of energy seized his chest when he realized what was happening. 

“Whoooooo!” He turned to see Connor, arms stretched out to either side and his right knee bent so his foot was pointing straight in the air. “There it is, Evan!” he said, pointing towards the sea of people up ahead. “Second star to the right and straight on ‘til morning!” 

Jared crowed like a rooster, prompting Connor to do the same, and Evan, to his surprise, was laughing through it all. He looked down again at the people again and the pang in his chest returned, but softer this time. 

He closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again to find he was enveloped in light. It was breathtaking. As he took in the sights it felt as if time slowed down, as if everything in his soul was trying to savor this moment before it ended. Everything else around him seemed to slow down, too. Then he saw Connor and Jared fly past him and, for a third time, his chest tightened as he came to an unceremonious halt right in front of Glitter Gulch. 

Jared and Connor were several yards ahead of him, suspended just in front of the arrival platform waiting to be pulled back in. “Evan, we did it!” Jared pumped his fist in the air.

“Jared…” Connor pointed to their right where an attendant was hooking someone in a harness up to Evan’s line.

Jared flailed about trying to find his friend until he finally craned his neck to look behind him. “Well, fuck.” 

Tension pulsed through Evan’s entire body and he could feel his hands start to shake. He was acutely aware of his body and all of his weight held by a glorified hammock on a cable several stories above the ground. “Shitshitshitshitshit,” he whispered. Suddenly, the harness started to sway and his curses turned into silent prayers. If there was a God, Evan hoped he wouldn’t let an anxious young man die because he was peer pressured into facing his fears. 

The swaying intensified as a dark figure careened towards him. In moments, Evan was faced with a pair of shoes flying over his head. As he ducked, his savior silently hooked a rope to the harness and, hand over hand, pulled them both back to the platform. In the blink of an eye, they were at the return platform. As soon as he could, Evan put his feet on solid ground. 

“Thank God,” Connor ran over to Evan and threw his arms around him and hugged him tightly. After a moment, he pulled away, hands still on Evan’s shoulders. “How are you doing? Are you okay?” 

Without hesitation, Evan pressed his lips to Connor’s, savoring his new lease on life. Unfortunately, their celebration wouldn’t last very long.

“NOOOOO!” Jared grabbed their shoulders and ripped them apart. “That’s not how this was supposed to happen!” 

Evan blushed and slowly backed away. “Um, I need to, uh, get this harness taken off so I’m gonna...yeah.” 

Connor balled up a fist and grimaced. “Kleinman, if you EVER do that again—”

“I don’t care!” Jared stamped his foot, holding his ground. “Alana is going to kill me. For real this time!” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“She’s had this all planned out for months. One of you dorks was supposed to catch the bouquet at my wedding and realize you’re madly in love with each other and share a tender, drunken kiss towards the end of the night and live happily ever after.” 

“How did she—”

“You know how perceptive she is.” 

“But why would—”

“AND how much she loves the both of you. She just wanted it to be special.”

“Well...” said Connor, “it was.” He smiled, finally taking in what had happened.

Jared smiled back. “I’m glad. But know that we must never speak of this.” 

“I’ll do whatever I damn well please.” 

“Fine,” said Jared, “but let me tell her before you make anything Facebook official.” 

“I can handle that.” The two of them shook hands and Jared pulled him into a brief hug. 

“I am happy for you, by the way.” 

“Thanks.” Connor pat Jared on the back and pulled away. “When is that woman going to realize that you can’t plan every waking moment of every single day?” 

“Never,” said Jared. “She will never learn and that’s why I love her.”

Now free from his harness, Evan joined them and the three of them made their way down the stairs. By the time they were at the bottom, Connor and Evan were holding hands. 

“I think we should give Sabrina a call,” said Evan reaching for his phone.

“Can it wait for just a second?” said Jared.

“You’re not going to make me swim with a shark now, are you?” 

“You’re afraid of…?” he shook his head. “Never mind, no time. As a blanket apology to ruining your moment up there, please let me buy you both a drink. Or a cake. Or pay for more therapy because I definitely ruined you.” 

“I may not have conquered my fear of falling today,” said Evan, “but I wouldn’t say I’m ruined. This was definitely for the better." He looked at Connor and rest his head on his shoulder. "I will take you up on that drink, though.”

Connor rifled through the hats in Jared’s hand and proudly pulled out the one that read I BRING THE ALCOHOL. “I think I know just where we need to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm back! I'm sorry for being gone so long. Please know this fic isn't dead! I am working on this in bits, my life has been busier than ever since Christmas. I can't promise when the next update will be, but I hope this can tide you all over until it comes. As always, thank you for reading :)


End file.
